After a week away on vacation I am here sitting at my desk wondering where the heck the time went? It feels like just yesterday I was on my way to Yankton to go visit the family and spend a few fun drunk days at the Meridian Bridge RV Resort with my Northside Bitches . Now here I am sitting in a fog all clueless and dazed. Did I really ever leave here? I set my “out of office” notice on my emails. My desk was cleaned off. All my work was caught up. Yet, I feel like a fucking mess and am buried in work. Was all this just a dream? Happy post-vacation! I feel as if I need a vacation from my vacation. I’m already tired. Like I just had a forced enema. I need my bed and a few more days off. Ugh!

This is so ever true. The first day back at work is a day to drink coffee. Tell your coworkers where you were at and what you did. Check up on Facebook to get all caught up on your friends drama. Surf the net. Take a long lunch. Actually leave on time and go home to collapse. I thought a vacation was supposed to re-energize us?

How can one possibly have so many emails sitting in the in-box? My “out of office” said to contact “so and so” on any questions or requests. I am now only half way through the 247 emails that I need to follow-up on! Also, half of them are system down messages. WTF?  Oh, I love the ones that want a response and need it asap, like four days ago, and sent three follow up emails asking why I have not responded. Did you not read my out of the fucking office message?

This is pretty much how I felt while off for the week. Except the red bar started on Sunday night with me. I think we might be a little work stressed over here in the good old USA!

Now that I have had about five cups of coffee it’s all coming back to me. I do remember a bit of what I do around here. Still not ready to pick up the phone yet and speak to anyone. Just communicate by email for the first few days back. Oh fuck, I just received a message that my email in-box is full and running out of memory space. I better start hitting that delete button.

Ok, I do have to admit that I am such a big kid that I still get a kick out of going down the highway and getting picked up by the po po (thank you for the courtesy warning Mr Cedar County Deputy). You can get pulled over for having friends in the back of your pickup and 38ish people in the cab.  You have to love the fine state of Nebraska.  Ever notice that as we get older our we tend to act like bratty children?

Thank all things holy for Meridian Bridge RV Resort ! You can drink here! You can get drunk all around the park! While we were here it was Apple Crown and Blue Can week, which also features a very ill Toad. Oh yeah, we were pretty rocked by the time we left after drinking all night Friday! So many different beverages to try.  You would have swore we were at the EPCOT in Florida.  EPCOT for us boozers is – Every Person Carried Out Toasted!

Why does everyone think I am supposed to be all cheery rainbows and riding unicorns across the sky while throwing candy blue cans at everyone? I don’t know about you but coming back to work after a week with the Northside Bitches is stressful enough as it is. Don’t talk to me for a few days, and don’t ask me to go to lunch. Unless it’s a liquid lunch. And you stay silent. One word about work and you will end up on a milk carton!

Probably one of the better reasons to come home from vacation. There is still nothing better than sleeping in your own bed and shitting in your own crapper!  Admit it – we all feel this way!

PS.  This blog post WAS NOT done on work time.