The End of Camping Season Blues


I can’t believe it’s almost November! With this comes the end of camping season, at least for me. I know some people continue camping until snowfall but I’m not a fan of freezing my ass off.

I was very happy  to get in one last hurrah with a long weekend of camping fun with an amazing group of friends. Remember, what happens at the campground stays at the campground.   We had a great Halloween party. The weekend was mostly sitting around the fire, chatting and having a few many adult beverages. Overall, that’s what I call a successful camping trip!

This year we connected with some old friends, Craig , Gail and girls.   We got to know a group of awesome friends – Craig and Shelli, Dwight and Wanda, Chris and Sam, Dave and Kristi, Rob and Karissa, Jeremy and Chelsie,  Lee, Kristi and kids, Rick, Tracy and kids.

What I learned at the campground this year (will limit names to protect the innocent lol):

  • You may think the kids of South Park are cool. They have nothing on the North Side crew.  Remember you don’t mess with North Side bitches!
  • Sharing a 1.75 L bottle of Apple Crown may keep you in bed until 4 pm.
  • Beer darts should not be played by amateurs.  You may get a dart stuck in your boot.
  • You have not been to a bonfire until  you have one at Craig and Shelli’s.
  • If the backside gets a little cold you just need to “Back that ass up” to the fire
  • Karaoke is meant to happen between the hours of midnight and 4 am.
  • Watch out for Shaniqua dancing on the pole at late night Karaoke.
  • If you shoot a gun in a campground it may be frowned upon.
  • Too many Budweiser’s can make walking into your camper a risk when raining. Could it have been the flip flops?  The world will never know!
  • The 80’s were definitely the best music years.  AC/DC rocks – especially at karaoke night. Who Made Who?
  • You can get me drunk enough to sing karaoke (didn’t think that was possible). I apologize for all the broken ear drums.
  • If you want to get your UTV dirty – let Dwight drive.  On a plus note, he lets you use his power washer.
  • Elroy! – No other words are needed!
  • Golf carts can end up on a beach.
  • Tiki torches are no match for above said golf cart.
  • Don’t give Craig a broomstick it will blow everyone’s mind.
  • If you are an asshole, no one in the campground will like you.
  • Said asshole must be blind as a fucking bat to hit his knee on a trailer hitch. Oh wait, that didn’t happen he just was being a prick to get a trailer moved.
  • When pulling out of your campsite, please make sure you have your slide outs in.
  • Fireworks are awesome when you can watch them from your pad and not have to drive home. Especially if you are drinking “water”.
  • PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT – “Water” will make you walk sideways!
  • In a campground of 200 some sites you can get lost on your way home.  This may have something to do with the Apple Crown.
  • You have to watch out for the firewood throwing ninja – wait, where did he go?
  • Don’t drink the blueberry moonshine – trust me on this one! The after taste tastes like you shoved  your tongue up a skunks ass!  (No I have not stuck my tongue up a skunks ass).
  • You can live in a camper held together by duct tape.
  • It is possible to have a girlfriend for one night.
  • They may shine helicopter lights on the campground looking for a convict.  However, no one saw the helicopter that kept landing  to drop family off at the duct tape palace.
  • You can start a fire with Doritos just like Facebook claims!
  • It is possible to get ‘cat shit’ in your wig at the Halloween party!

Until next year, my friends. I will leave you with:

Camp fire grows cold,
The campers are going home;
Time to be sad.


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