How to Tell Your Camping Neighbors are Going to Suck


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Sometimes, you meet your camp neighbors and it feels like you’ve been friends for your entire life.  In our case we are lucky, I have known our neighbor since college.  Other times, your neighbors inspire you to hastily pack up in the middle of the night and head home. Here are a few signs that you, very unfortunately, have come across the kind of campsite neighbors that…well…suck.

1. They announce their arrival with authority.

You can hear their terrible music coming from literally a mile away. As they wind their way through the campground, you hold out hope, but you quietly accept that there can only be one possible destination – the pristine campsite right next to yours. And when they arrive, it only confirms what you already knew. That you must have done something awful in another life that you’re now about to pay for.

2. They’re trailblazers.

There’s nothing like turning around and seeing strangers trekking through your camp, over and over again. Make all the subtle noises and sideways glances you like, but there will be no stopping them. It’s almost impressive how fucking clueless they are. Their need to get to the bathroom or wash their dishes five seconds faster dominates their whole being. You have to give it to them – they’re amazingly efficient. But equally annoying.

3. They brought the beer pong table!

Car Camping Bro (n). This peculiar species of Bro annually migrates to beautiful outdoor spaces every spring and summer to breathe in the fresh air and soak up the sunshine, while pursuing their competitive “sport” of choice. They are usually friendly enough, and may even invite you to join in the festivities. But be warned, they are often found taking dirt naps or passed out in a bush by early evening, and it’s best not to wake or feed them. This is truly something my nephews would do.  I only hope I taught them good camping etiquette as a kid.

4. “Hey, who packed the speakers?”

When you hear those words, you can almost guarantee that your neighbors won’t be getting to sleep anywhere near 11pm…and neither will you. Loud music typically morphs into loud late-night cooking, sing-a-longs, and outlandish campfire stories. It’s all kind of funny… until you find yourself wishing that a rabid raccoon would do something terrible to your speaker-toting friends around 2 a.m.

5. They packed their wildlings.

When you see little ones pile out of the SUV next door, it should raise an eyebrow. When you see said kids acting like drunk homeless people, you should be worried. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m a parent and I took my kid and nephews camping. I know it’s not easy. But letting your kids scream at all hours of the day/night and then sending them into your neighbor’s camp to “make friends” is not awesome.

I am thankful we have Craig, Gail, Lillie and Gracie as our neighbors!

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