Don’t be THAT Camper!


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Camping is a great way to meet new friends! Whether you camp in a deluxe lodge, a camping cabin, tent, pop up, or RV there are is no better way to get  outside and enjoying quality time together in the great outdoors.

People who enjoy camping often find time with nature appealing. They like watching wildlife, relaxing by a fire and escaping the noise of city life. Public campgrounds are full of these unique people and offer wonderful opportunities to express your inner jerk.  I have compiled a list of THOSE kind!

Playing loud music even inside of your RV or singing loudly

If you can’t stand the sound of wind through the trees or birds chirping and you sport some antisocial tendencies, this technique might be for you. It has a slightly passive aggressive zest that some find appealing. Several years ago on a trip where my family joined us, the camper next to us played guitar and sang American Pie  by Don McLean over and over by his campfire. Not only did we hear this tune ad nauseam, but every time “Pie Man”, as we called him, sang this song we applauded him. He did not get the hint.  To this day, I can not stand the song. His performance was so legendary that we still speak of it to this day.

Set up or break down camp loudly before 7:00 am

This method is effective because many campers play hard all day but have a tough time falling asleep.  Just as they finally reach their deepest and most restful sleep in the cool hours before dawn, it’s time to make your move. Start by shining your lights in their  campers or tents as you pull stakes or crank up your trusty diesel. Better yet, recruit help from your large extended family and move in at that hour, pounding stakes and discussing all of your exciting plans for the coming day. Torment and frustration will show on fellow campers’ faces as they emerge from their tents and campers giving you immediate gratification that you succeeded on your mission.

Wander through your neighbor’s campsite

Violating personal space is a powerful method of ticking off fellow campers. Just make sure to ignore the campers as you walk through, or you risk playing on their kindness and understanding, which would defeat the point of the exercise. Simply act aloof, cutting close to their camp chairs. You get bonus points if you can elicit a snide comment from the campers as you pass. Now if for some reason you want to MAKE friends in camp, show up offering to share French press coffee in the morning or offer to share a bottle of micro-brew at sunset.

Move in on a campsite that’s reserved

That little tag hanging on the post, it’s there for a reason. Throwing it in the garbage doesn’t make it go away; it just makes you a jerk, an assertive tactic for making enemies at camp. In fact, this ploy is so brave; you should get extra points for being THAT camper. Set up your camp and chairs, open a beer, turn up your portable radio and act cool. Likely, the first people to notice will be your neighboring campers, but the real payoff comes when the rightful site owner shows up and finds you relaxing in their site. Granted, this method usually results in the extra work of having to relocate to an open site, but you will feel solid in your place as THAT camper.

Eliminate pet peeves

Literally. Pick up after your pets. Stop excessive or extended barking. Don’t leave a howling dog unattended to bother the neighbors. Use a leash. Even if Spot is friendly, not everyone is an animal lover. Good pet-etiquette on your part helps ensure that the many campers with pets are welcome at campgrounds.

Sewer connections

Do them right. Make them secure. Don’t use torn hoses. In most places, your sewer connection faces the side where you neighbor has their “patio” area. When the crapper is full, being discreet and careful is part of good campground etiquette.  Please don’t empty the week old  cesspool when your neighbors are enjoying a meal!  This isn’t Christmas Vacation for fucks sake! There is a reason Eddie was hated in the movie!

Please, Please Please!!! If you’re not at a full hookup site, use a fucking hose at a community dump station.  No one wants to wallow in your shit after you just let ‘er rip.  This area is not supposed to look like the toilet of  someone who drank the water in Mexico.

Stay up late being loud

This one is so obvious that I left it until last. If you choose to use this method, at least be creative with your noise. Instead of just partying, try adding in some arguments, noisy sex, bongos…whatever your noise of choice is, turn it up overnight.

Not being THAT camper may seem almost a no brainer. However, there are many that have no respect for others.  Unfortunately, this is all to common in America anymore.

So, if you’re camping and you follow simple rules of courtesy, hopefully your camping neighbors will too. When that happens, everyone has a better camping experience.

I wish you safe and happy camping where ever your travels take you!

2 comments

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    Like

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