Week Five, Fantasy Football Thoughts


Ben Roethlisberger

For the sake of full disclosure, Old Toad is battling a wicked crown prep and this trip to the Toad’s pad could get a little bumpy. It just depends on how long I can hold off taking the meds to stay as coherent as possible.

How bad must Colin Kaepernick look in practice that the 49ers continue to roll out Blaine Gabbert? It’s time to make that change. Actually, it’s way past time. Heck. I’m guessing San Francisco fans would even take Christian Ponder over Gabbert at this point.  It may have more to do with Kaepernick’s salary. A career-ending injury would guarantee the remaining $73.3 million of Kaepernick’s contract through 2020 (2017: $16.5 million, 2018: $17 million, 2019: $18.8 million, 2020: $21 million).

Larry Fitzgerald is a joy to watch. Folks need to appreciate this man for as long as he continues to play.

So Jeremy Kerley put up 102 yards and a score this week. That is more production than Golden Tate put up in the first four weeks combined.  Why would I bring this up? Detroit cut Kerley during the preseason. That is why Detroit is … well … Detroit. Sigh.

I can’t help but feel sorry for Torrey Smith being stuck in that pitiful San Francisco passing game. Hopefully a switch from Gabbert at quarterback can jump start what has been a lost season to date for Smith.

Apparently, all it took to get Marcus Mariota going was a trip to South Beach. The Miami defense is not good, folks. Not good at all.  While we are on the subject, the Dolphin offense isn’t anything to write home about either.

Really Matthew Stafford?  You pick this week to go off for three touchdowns? Way to make me look the fool for suggesting benching you this week.

On the plus side, Detroit did manage to somehow beat Philadelphia after appearing to have once again found a way to blow a lead.

Poor Cleveland fans. There has been a Charlie Whitehurst sighting at quarterback. That is never a good thing.

A lot of folks want to get rid of the kicker position in fantasy football. I’m guessing that none of those folks own Adam Vinatieri.

Welcome back, Tom Brady. On behalf of all Martellus Bennett owners I’m sending you a big old virtual hug.   I’m also pretty sure Rob Gronkowski, Chris Hogan and Julian Edelman owners are feeling a lot better moving forward.  How much better would they be feeling if Martellus Bennett hadn’t received all three of Tom Brady’s TD passes?

The Vikings defense/special teams just keeps rolling along with four more sacks and a return touchdown. This group is a fun bunch to watch.

Oh, before the  medicine kicks in and I  forget. Here’s the update on my breakout tight end for 2016, Green Bay’s Jared Cook. He’s out 4-6 weeks with an ankle injury… sigh.

Here’s some free advice for Jeremy Langford. Don’t bother pushing to come back from your injury anytime soon. You’ve lost that starting running back gig to Jordan Howard so just take your time.  Unless my memory fails me, which it could well be doing, wasn’t Howard supposed to be a two-down thumper?

It’s safe to go ahead and step off the Jack Doyle bandwagon as it appears that Dwayne Allen is the tight end we want from Indianapolis.  It’s also nice to see Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton clicking again.

If he didn’t drop a slew of passes, Sammie Coates would have had an even bigger game. I’m talking about a huuuuuge game . That being said, owners of just about every Pittsburgh big name offensive skill position players are pretty happy right about now.

The Brock Osweiler–led Houston offense is really beginning to concern me. At least some garbage time points helped DeAndre Hopkins have a decent week.  At least the Texans only guaranteed $37 million of Osweiler’s $72 million deal and will be able to part ways after 2017 if they so choose.

Any Individual Defensive Player (IDP) league owners who have Pittsburgh linebacker Ryan Shazier need to have Vince Williams on their roster as well. Shazier’s balky knee makes him a weekly candidate to sit out and Williams is flat out balling as his replacement.  I chose to play Cory James over Vince Williams this week. Someone hand me a tissue, please.

Oh, the anguish of watching LeSean McCoy bust off a 50-plus yard carry and realizing that he’ll need to sit out a play. That play will of course be a touchdown run by Mike Gillislee … ugh. McCoy has to take it to the house like Ezekiel Elliott has been doing. Elliott is electric to watch playing behind that offensive line.  Is Dallas owner Jerry Jones stubborn foolish enough to force Tony Romo back into the starting role with the way Dak Prescott has been playing? My gut says he absolutely is. Sorry, Dallas fans.

Chicago wide receiver Cameron Meredith is a must-add from the waiver wire this week. Kevin White is out while Alshon Jeffery and Eddie Royal are constantly battling injuries.  What does it say about Kevin White when an UDFA (2015) puts up a stat line of 9/130/1 while the former No. 7 pick in the 2015 draft continued to struggle prior to his injury.

While I am addressing the wide receiver position as far as the waiver wire is concerned, I’ll be targeting Minnesota’s Adam Thielen as well. You are welcome.

On a side note, I’m assuming Sammie Coates is already on a roster. If he’s not … go get him!

Yes, Tevin Coleman had a very big fantasy showing this week but I can’t help but worry that he comes out of the week healthy moving forward. Having the sickle cell trait makes him susceptible to some serious health problems due to the altitude. Be safe young man.

I did not see Atlanta going into Denver and putting up a win . Maybe Paxton Lynch isn’t quite ready for “the show.”  I think the question should be about the Broncos defense and how it allowed Tevin Coleman to go for 132 yards receiving and a TD on 4 receptions. Also, with rookie Paxton Lynch at QB, there was not one ball throw in the direction of a TE. Aren’t TEs supposed to be a rookie QBs best friend?

Welcome to IDP fantasy relevance, Vic Beasley. Atlanta may finally have the edge rushing threat it has lacked for so long.

After watching Cincinnati be completely dominated by Dallas, I believe Cincinnati fans can rest easy knowing there will not be another early round exit from the playoffs. There’s no way this team even sniffs the postseason.  Two touchdowns for Brandon LaFell in garbage time, Cincinnati? Really? A.J. Green owners would like to have a word with Marvin Jones.

Antonio Gates returns from injury and scores a touchdown. Sounds about right but Hunter Henry (who also scored today) remains a weapon in that San Diego offense and should be 100 percent owned in all scoring formats.

It’s time to explore other options at quarterback for Los Angeles. Water always finds its level and Case Keenum is who we thought he was (another tip of the cap to the late great Dennis Green).

It breaks my heart to watch Philip Rivers play his butt off on a weekly basis with a depleted offense and come up short because of untimely fumbles or bungled plays. It’s time for a coaching change in San Diego as this team lacks late game discipline and concentration.  Rivers’ last contract extension included a no-trade clause. He’s happy in San Diego.

Folks, my mouth is drooling and I  have held in for as long as he could. . I would love to wax poetic more regarding the Sunday night game but this is all I have left.

The Sunday night game was a chore for me to watch as the New York Giants offense continues to struggle without a running back of note and Aaron Rodgers still seems a tick off. We got the points from the expected players and overall saw a couple of suspect defenses.

I promise to return next week stronger than ever and recovered from this damn crown prep. Have a great week, folks.

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